The Inside Track by Tamsen Parker


Nick Fischer is a screw-up; everyone knows it and they’re not afraid to tell him so. The only thing he’s got going for him is that he plays a reliable rhythm guitar for License to Game, and his big fat bulldog, Princess Fiona, is so ugly she’s cute. Dempsey Lawrence is a former child star turned financial advisor, and while she’s curious about the hot mess of a man who’s her co-panelist for a presentation on financial literacy, she has no intention of pursuing anything with him. Too loud, too crass, too wild, Nick is altogether too much. Plus, he’s famous, and she is so over stardom and everything that comes with it. Except that when Dempsey gives Nick an inch, he takes a mile, and she finds that she doesn’t mind so much. Until Nick brings the pitfalls of stardom to Dempsey’s doorstep, then all the attraction in the world might not be enough to promise a happily ever after.


The Inside Track was nothing like what I imagined I would find in this book. In general I'm a bit wary of books about music stars, but this was deep and intricate and it explored important emotions that made me cry and feel profoundly at so many points. At the beginning I must admit that it was difficult to get into because Nick had ADHD and you don't know that when his narration starts but his mind goes at a million miles an hour and it reads like that; without giving you time to think. It doesn't make a lot of sense in the combination of the sentences. But once you get into it, you understands how he thinks and how he talks just like Dempsey does. I know it's a love or hate thing that not everyone is going to get into but I would say give it an opportunity before you dismiss it. This book has two main characters who are dealing with their own mental health in their own way. As I said before, Nick has ADHD. He's funny, goofy and definitely brings the lighter part of the relationship (which doesn't mean he's better, he just takes things differently). Also, he has a dog! He can't focus on one thing at the time, but he does his best to help Dempsey in any way he can. I loved him as a hero and as an individual character. 

Dempsey felt like his complete opposite. She's introverted, darker and more complex. She has an anxiety disorder and is dealing with agoraphobia and trauma. Even though I can't talk about the representation with Nick's ADHD, I really related to everything that happened to her. Not the fame part, obviously. But I thought her anxiety and agoraphobia were amazingly written. Her dark places reminded me some of my darkest places and made me feel all those emotions that I talked about before. I absolutely adored how she let herself feel those emotions and how she knew how to get herself out of there when it was necessary. She knew herself in the way you know your mind when you've had a mental illness for years and you know when you're having a bad day, a good day and how you're going to feel better or worse. That felt very realistic to me and well written and researched even though they were in this not so common setting of fame and fortune. 

Their relationship was one of my favourite parts of this book. The way that they let themselves be however they wanted to be but also called themselves out when it was necessary was beautiful. I loved the domesticity that we experienced between them, their friends and the dog. There was a real chance here to go over the top and Tamsen Parker didn't go there and I appreciated that. I loved how she respected her characters and gave them time and space to grow and heal and be better people. I absolutely adored the writing, the metaphors and the way the situations and emotions were constructed. This is a very unique book that will stay in my mind for a very long time.